Honestly, I’ve been considered a nut case from the get go. I’m not quite sure what ‘casual’ is because I have a whole story line with background music playing in my head for every situation. I think if I could, I would have background music playing as you read this right now. The video at the top ,however, will just have to do. 😀 .
Revealing this in a one on one situation with someone would definitely get me called into the docs office for a couple of ‘head exams’. Granted, I did bump my head a couple of hundred times as a child and even more so as an adult, but I promise you that that has nothing to do with my insanity. I think I was just born this way. (Shout out to Lady Gaga). The world, on the other hand has required me to adorn a certain demeanor. This allows me to be taken seriously despite my crazy.
By the way, if I didn’t already say: ‘Hi, again, I’m Kay.’
Last we talked, I was talking the talk and not sure how I should walk. Walk away from the norm and break free. I’m sitting at my desk ,like I do every morning. I should be working. But I can’t. I begged for this job after leaving others time and time again. Each time thinking; ‘I will be happier here and now’, but I never am.
Slowly and swiftly I fall back into the realisation that I know what I want to do. I know what will make me feel whole and real. Question is, ‘How do I get it and get out without spiraling into confusion and despair?’. ‘Can I eat and live through my dreams?’
You know what i mean right? Putting things off over and over again. Just trying to be stable and not to disappoint, but in essence, what is the whole point? Ever wish decisions and a consensus were as easy to make and attain as they are in parliament: ‘Anyone out there who thinks I write well enough to quit my job and be a full time writer, say I……And the I’s have it ‘ (Cheers follow).
Well, I guess I’ll just have to wing it. I should probably put something out there rather than keep ranting and raving at you guys. But I know you hear me, and I know some of you feel like I do.
We should probably just start one of those support groups, ‘Dreamers but cowards anonymous’ 😀 . I’m thinking we could probably take a leap from there. Like they say, ‘Acceptance is the first stage’. I want to do something about it. Today, I’ll start my book. No more excuses world. Who’s with me?